The time has come for me to stand up.
Recently, I have seen numerous web posts that cut to the very essence of my being. Suddenly, it has become de rigueur to bash me and those like me. They tell me that, for the sake of all that is Good, Right and Holy, I need to change my ways. They say that people like me will likely cause the Ultimate Decline of Western Civilization. And there are those who imply that the world would be better off without us.
Yes, “us”. Because I am one of “them”, I must confess.
You see, I type double spaces at the end of my sentences.
To be honest, for the longest time the concept of tapping the space bar twice was completely unknown to me. I never took typing classes in school; when the time came that I needed something typed, I would ask a friend to help me out. It was not until several years after I was married (in fact, I was using a computer by then) when Donna was looking over a cover letter I was composing for a job application, that I was first informed that one always must insert two spaces after a sentence. It made no sense to me…but I figured that she knew what she was talking about. So I started slipping in that extra space. Little did I know that I was wasting valuable pixels every time that I sat down to compose a letter, an e-mail, or some other random screed. I lived in my little cocoon, blissfully unaware of the atrocities I was committing.
At least until recently. It started innocently enough, a few months back, when I stumbled on a post somewhere bemoaning the benighted bumpkins who were causing untold distress among Those Who Knew Better. But now, in the past week or so, several unrelated posts have graced my computer screen informing me and those like me that we really need to stop. Now.
Look. I am about as anal-retentive regarding matters of spelling as a person can get. And I really don’t even want to think about “r u going 2 b there”. It was bad enough when Prince was doing that sort of thing thirty years ago; nowadays, I can’t avoid it. But…one extra freaking space, people. Really. If it means that much, may I suggest gathering a band of celebrities together to sing a song about Saving the Pixels? Public awareness would skyrocket. Hell, turn it into a fundraiser, with money going toward an app that will automatically backspace the offending keystroke out of existence while simultaneously sending the word “douchebag” to your computer’s speakers. Y’know…the more I think about it, the more I like the idea.
But, for God’s sake, leave Prince out of it.
(Postscript: I see that WordPress deletes the dreaded second space automatically when importing text from Microsoft Word. Resistance is, apparently, futile. But, at the very least, WP hasn’t referred to me as a douchebag. At least, not yet.)