Convenience-store musings

So…if the local stop-and-rob was as Kwik as they would have you believe, I would not have had the time to stand in line and read the signs behind the counter that have apparently been posted for the employees’ benefit…and I would not have seen the sign that said:

Execute
Every Day
Every Hour
Every Guest

…and I would not have been nearly as worried about the hand-held laser that the smiling young lady was holding as I got to the front of the line. (Apparently she missed the customer before me in line, who was not only alive, but able to walk out under his own power.)

And, on a related note: What is the singular of “pepperoni”? “Pepperonus”?? Because that is what I got on the slice of pizza that was marked in the plural…the one that I was able to carry out of the store as I narrowly avoided execution by laser…

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